Table-Flip Tuesday: Table-Flips

such rage, much fury

such rage, much fury

Table-Flip Tuesday: Table-Flips
written by andrew j. bartlett

The form of art that is table-flipping is an artform.

Wait, that was a bit redundant, wasn’t it? Do you see what I mean: even when introducing the inaugural post to start off “Table-Flip Tuesdays”, it’s a bit of a shake and doesn’t go off half as well as you had considered it could possibly have the potential in which to do so.

(Okay, that went all kinds of sideways, but whatever – I’m not editing that out, so you’ll just have to deal with that awkward opening. #thatswhatshesaid)

In case you needed a quick history lesson: I met our dear “Mating Habits” host, Kelley Hightower, toward the end of 2014, when she came to record for a crossover episode of a podcast for which I was one-half of the hosting talent. In semi-preparation for the crossover, we of the non-“Mating Habits” side were individually asked to bring a topic currently poking our ire, for a subject lovingly referred to on Kelley’s show as “Table-Flipping”.

This may seem like an easy feat for which to prepare, what with working a life in retail and interacting day-in and day-out with a society that inspires click-baity articles and viral YouTube videos that constantly redefine “Schadenfreude”…

If you’re like me, however, and even in the tiniest fraction of a sense of that unfortunate grouping, you’re the type of person who has a seemingly-infinite number of things you want and need; however, should anyone inquire as to any of the items on that ever-growing list, that’s when the list goes into hiding and plays off like it doesn’t exist. Thus is how it played out when asked to have something ready for the “table-flip” section of the crossover recording.

So what did I do? Well, if you haven’t yet had an opportunity to listen to this very [interesting] recording, to put it plainly: I lamed out. I pretty much gave an excuse of “Mrrrh, I don’t like to hold grudges (’cause they’re bad for your back) and blah blah get over things quick bleh bloo blee so I don’t have anything at the moment” and other such nonsense to fill in the “blahs” and “blees”. This was pretty much the direction taken, as I progressively made my way into the rotation of “Mating Habits” co-hosts.

And I gotta tell you: IT WAS IRRITATING AS FUCK!

Listening to the other episodes happening around the ones on which I happened to co-host, gems were brought to the as-yet-flipped table: coworkers swiping Lean Cuisines, small business owners shame-posting friend-clients, perfectly good table sets being brazenly dismissed when offered in a very positive and helpful manner, etc, etc, and the list goes on. I listened to these amusing and intriguing stories and rants, metaphorically knocking on my brain’s door and pointing emphatically to what would represent what was being heard, shouting: “Why can’t you bring something interesting like that?!”

Fortunately, though, the more I’ve grown used to recording for “Mating Habits”, the more my brain has been readily prepared to take in an item of irritation and attach a label on it, which probably reads “Table-Flip Topic (do not open ’til Groundhog Day)”.

However! Remember that time, a few paragraphs ago, when I made the unfair comparison of you to me, lumping us in the same category and going on about mental lists and said lists disappearing when made the subject of conversation? Okay, good. Now, imagine we’re back in that unfair setting, but this time we’re creative people who are in dire need of coming up with something creative, just to get those creative juices flowing – what would you say, based on average, generalized standards of this sort of thing, tends to happen?

That’s right: the good ideas only seem to come to you when you’re in a situation where you cannot immediately do something about that idea. For me, I normally tend to come up with interesting story ideas while I’m driving or at work, where I’m not immediately in front of a computer in order to, at the very least, write down key words to help me remember the idea for later. The same is the case for these damn “table-flips”!

What’s a brother gotta do, just so he can have a slight irritation, have it be entertaining enough and at the right frame of time, and be able to let the irritation get back on its merry way before it cause irrevocable damage? Well, as it turns out, all said “brother” has to do is start up a Google Doc entitled “Table-Flip Topics” and update it with items that might qualify for quality talking points; and when the list gets to the length in which said “brother” finds himself saying, to himself, “Geezus! Lighten up, you constantly irritated bastard!”, he approaches our lovely Kelley and offers up an idea to make table-flipping a more recurring blog-type thing. (You know… for more content and material on the blog page. That sounds legitimate as well, right?)

So here you go, my fellow geeks! With any luck, these table-flips will get better, as I like to think they have on the podcast (from my end, at least – keep up the great work, to the rest of you “Mating Habits” hosts).

Until then, this has been Andrew for this round of “Table-Flip Tuesday”, flipping a table over table-flips!

#tableflipped

UPDATE: The Podcast will Return November 2nd!

Greetings fellow Geeks, Nerds, Outsiders, Misanthropes, and sundry Cool-types!

Drake says, #KeepToppingsTraditional

Drake says, #KeepToppingsTraditional

If you were expecting Episode 76 of Mating Habits of the Modern Geek to be released today, I’m sorry to disappoint you. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks for your friend and host – there’s been a staggering increase in real-life work (yay! Money!), a busy social schedule, and a recent health issue with an immediate family member have prevented me from bringing you the quality content that you enjoy.

The good news is we’ve got all sorts of interesting things planned for the episodes ahead, including interviews, listener-participation shows, and maybe some Periscope broadcasts that we’ll somehow saved to YouTube.

In the meantime, check out the back catalogue of Mating Habits episodes that you may have missed. Take a gander at some of the latest episodes from the other Pod Pals: Room 173 with M3CJNV, Anywhere but Here, Nerd Church, History of Misunderstanding, Weekly Geek Speak, and Attaboy Clarence.

Also, check out the fuss behind all these pizza memes and vote for me and help me #KeepToppingsTraditional using this Survey Link.

See you all next week and as always, thanks for listening!

-Kelley

coolpizzakid

PizzaRat

foundingfatherspizza

UncleSamMHMG

Help us, Beloved Listeners – you’re our only hope!

princess-leia-kitty-cosplay2

While the podcast is on a short summer break, I’d like to hear any suggestions you guys might have for future dating/relationship show topics. There may end up being some small adjustments to the show layout in the episodes to come, and I’d love to give you, our valued listener, exactly what you want. Any dating questions we can answer for you on the show? Any relationship topics/situations you’d like to have our opinion on? Let us know in the comments or email us at moderngeekcast@gmail.com. Thanks!

Mating Habits is Having a Birthday!

The show turns 3 years old today! Three years ago, I rented a room at a Durham, NC LaQuinta hotel and recorded the first four episodes of Mating Habits of the Modern Geek Podcast. Nowadays, the show has a mobile studio (when we’re not recording over Skype) and with 70 episodes soon to be under our belt we’re still going strong.

Over the years, this show has given me the opportunity to meet and work with so many great people, from listeners who interact through social media, to fellow podcasters who have welcomed me into their support network, to shows that have come after us that we strive to support and participate with. It’s been a great ride, and I can’t wait to see where we’re headed next.

Episode 70 drops Monday, so come help us wish Mating Habits a very Happy Birthday – and thank you.

nerd9

We need your help with Episode 69: THE VIRGINITY EPISODE!

virginitybox

We’re looking for submissions, interviews, unusual stories about your first time, or why it hasn’t happened for you yet. Send them in via moderngeekcast@gmail.com, @MatingHabits DM, or get in touch with me to schedule a skype interview before July 1 – as always, great pains will be taken to protect your identity and this is a JUDGEMENT-FREE ZONE, even though I have many opinions on the matter, your concept of virginity and its importance (or lack thereof) will always be respected.

Come participate with us!

Ep.68 – Assorted Meats and Cheeses: Post-wedding Drunken Convos

ThreeMartiniMHMG

http://traffic.libsyn.com/matinghabitsofthemoderngeek/Ep68_MHMG.mp3

Sean Ryan of Alpha Counter joins me to continue what might have been one of the best conversations we ever had after two drinks…then we had a third drink and totally forgot what we were talking about. This episode is the result of that decision.

I watched the EA portion of E3 and share my disappointments and excitements. I’m in an abusive relationship with Ubisoft and I’m going back to them for Assassin’s Creed: Victory. You just don’t understand Ubisoft like I do – and in their defense, they only beat me when I deserve it. There’s more Mass Effect Pretty and The Last Guardian has a release date – and you know that’s not going to have a happy ending.

DoesTheDogDie

WE SPOIL THE SHIT OUT OF GAME OF THRONES, so there’s your warning. If you haven’t seen the finale, I suggest you stop listening at the warning and come back in at the 40-minute mark. I will tell you that you should probably begin your HYPE preparations for CLEGANEBOWL!

Piecing together the memories of that night, Sean and I discuss the Uncanny Valley we experience when we look at photos of ourselves, and the body image issues we all face. We compare toxic relationships from our past and try to figure out why we stayed so long. It was an interesting night, and would have made for an interesting show if we could have remembered it.

We flip tables over the spoiler police and frustration over movie poster billing. Also, we’ve now got an Amazon Banner for you to click through.

Links!

http://io9.com/why-do-we-hate-seeing-photos-of-ourselves-1450081943
http://www.wired.com/2015/01/whats-up-with-pictures-yourself/

Here’s a great example of Meats and Cheeses:

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This is nightmare fuel:

wtaf

We’re Going to tiltEXPO: And We’re Bringing Speed Dating!

tiltexpo_SpeedDating

September 5-7, Mating Habits of the Modern Geek will be a panel guest at tiltEXPO at the Durham Convention Center in Durham, North Carolina.

Between panels, we’ll have a table set up to register folks for Speed Dating, taking place on Saturday starting at 3:00pm.

We’ll keep you updated with table numbers and instructions as we get closer to the event, but if you have questions, you can leave a comment, or send us an email at moderngeekcast@gmail.com

Can’t wait to see what happens 😀

Tickets to the Gun Show

It’s that time of year again. I’m running around buying travel-sized contact lense solution, ordering comfortable sandals for all the walking, buying new outfits for the nights-out dinners and drinks. Planning a trip? Oh, you betcha – it’s time for Dragon*Con!

This will be my 11th trip in a row down to Atlanta, Georgia for the epic event that is Dragon*Con. We can call it my Matt Smith year (shoutout to all my Whovians) and by now I’m a pro at things like:

-Not buying my tickets ahead of time, because the line is shorter if you pay on-site.
-Eating the cost of a full-price ticket in exchange for spending 2 hours in the hot ATL sun, versus 4 hours at a $60 savings.
-Purchasing a small battery-powered fan to cool me in all the 2-hour lines one finds themself in at this sized convention.
-Staying hydrated.
-Bringing my own booze from home to front-load in the hotel room and avoid the high price of getting tipsy at the Marriott Pulse.
-Not wearing a costume when I haven’t brought my A-game and would be miserable in a corset and heels for hours of crowd navigation.

And this leads me to the topic of clothes, and what I’m planning to do this year:

I’m going sleeveless.

This will come as a shock to many of you who know me personally. Having previously been a proponent of covered arms for anyone who didn’t have a Linda Hamilton-like physique, I am going back on my fashion rules and wearing some sleeveless outfits.

“But you have fat arms!” I’m sure some of you are exclaiming. “People will know that you’re heavier than you want to be.” I know. I know. These are facts that are undeniable, and thus, I will have to accept them.

What I can’t accept is the number of cute tops I don’t wear because they have no sleeves. I honestly think that four inches of extra fabric can convince you that I’m thinner than I actually am. It’s time for me to remember what I know – four inches never mattered nor made a difference in anything.

*wink*
*see what I did there*
*nevermind*

So, get ready Dragon*Con. Kelley’s coming to get 6’1″ deep in you and she’s bringing her fat arms. They’ll probably also be covered in a fine glitter, but don’t concern yourself with that now.

It’s always 150 degrees in the ATL – and you’re going to have to deal with that, and the fact that my arms are out.

abolish-sleevery