Ep.95 – Millennials Can’t Even with Sex? #WTF?

They're downloading Mating Habits - can't blame 'em.

They’re downloading Mating Habits – can’t blame ’em.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/matinghabitsofthemoderngeek/Ep95_MHMG.mp3

Paris and The Business, LLC are back to help me figure out what’s going on with Millennials and why they’re not getting down like they used to in my day.

We also talk at length about the failures of Suicide Squad and the DC Movie Universe as a whole, beach trips, German DJ obsessions, and my willingness to give Voyager another try.

Tables get flipped, tales get told, get into it.

LINKS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAMz-uxTFfw&feature=youtu.be

millennials-not-having-sex

Ep.92 – Dating Apps: Pros, Cons, and Whatnots!

MatingAppits


http://traffic.libsyn.com/matinghabitsofthemoderngeek/Ep92_MHMG.mp3

Welcome Dustin Calhoun of the Cock Tales over Cocktails Podcast! He and I discuss all the different dating apps available for our smartphones these days. We also talk cosplay workouts, DC Pride, baby showers, and naked yoga.

Also, if you listen to this show, treat yo’ self and download the DragonFruit geek dating app IMMEDIATELY!

We flip tables over privilege in politics, and play a new game where we talk choose guests for our ideal dinner party.

Check out Dustin’s show at the link below!

Cock Tales over Cocktails!

https://cocktalesovercocktails.com/

Tabble Flap – by Sean Ryan

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In the most recent episode of Mating Habits, I was called out for having said that any woman who is hyper-sexual—or even has a healthy sexuality—must have gotten it from “daddy issues”. I have never said such a thing. Or at least, I’ve never generalized it that way. If you think I have, clips or it didn’t happen. It’ll give you the chance to revisit our awesome episode archive.

Oh sure, I’ve made jokes and glib comments about girls with “daddy issues” (especially “the fun kind”) and people who act out from having their “antennas bent”. But my understanding of people’s sexuality isn’t as simple as a direct line from A to B.

Kelley and Paris are absolutely right. Some women just really enjoy sex. Some women just don’t. Both are cool and shouldn’t be stigmatized. Kelley is also right in that the phrase “daddy issues” is often used as a cop out or hasty judgment of a woman’s character. Kelley and Paris mentioned in the podcast that their sexual appetites aren’t the result of any kind of childhood trauma, and I believe them. At the same time, I can’t deny that women with “daddy issues” do also exist. They’re just not who Kelley and the gang are discussing in that episode.

Here’s the thing: “Daddy issues” are real. The phrase is often horribly misused, but there is truth to it.

“Daddy issues” spring from a variety of things; not limited to molestation. Physical abuse, neglect, abandonment, personality clash, alcoholism… All it takes is a shitty role model to affect our behavior as adults. Or as I tend to put it, that’s how some people get their “antennae bent”.

That trauma very commonly manifests into how we handle sex and personal relationships. It’s a strange but real phenomenon where we re-enact our trauma. Typically as a way to manage our feelings or as an unconscious attempt to grasp control over the demons that haunt us.

Some women with “daddy issues” come to recoil from sex. I’ve dated a couple of those. Some women with “daddy issues” work them out through sex. I’ve dated many of those…which may also say a lot about me. Most of the latter ended with the girl sabotaging the relationship by stirring up chaos and drama.

That’s all not to say that anyone who acts out sexually is “damaged goods”. Many hyper-sexual women are happy and able to maintain healthy relationships. I’ve also dated a couple women who have just had healthy sexuality, which I consider a blessing.

My advice is to give women the benefit of the doubt. Just enjoy the ride (*wink wink*). At the same time, be aware of red flags that suggest that this person may be wrestling with some baggage that could spill into your relationship with them,. It’s all fun until someone gets hurt.

RECOMMENDED READING:

Sex After Trauma (Pt. II): The Psychology Behind My Promiscuity

What Motivates Sexual Promiscuity?

Dr. NerdLove: It’s OK To Want Sex

Ep.85 – Highly Sexual Women: The Legend, The Facts, The Stigma.

MHMG85


http://traffic.libsyn.com/matinghabitsofthemoderngeek/Ep85_MHMG.mp3
Paris and The Business, LLC are back to help me talk about how society treats women who are comfortable with their sexuality, how suggesting that women who have sex “as if they’re men” is inherently sexist, and how just because a woman has sex freely with multiple people doesn’t mean she wants to have sex with you – and that’s okay.

Paris conquers the climate world by volunteering at museums and giving scientific talks on mountain tops; The Business listens to every podcast imaginable; and I discuss everything from 10 Cloverfield Lane (Guaranteed: SPOILER FREE!), to my love of British panel shows and Richard Herring.

We each get to choose a superpower for just one day and tables are flipped over people who are rude to waitstaff, porn addictions, and Millennials telling me to “get informed” at their own peril.

Quotation-Tristan-Taormino-freedom-sexuality-human-feminism-Meetville-Quotes-21462

Ep.83 – Paranormal Sexual Activity: What’s with all the Vampire Books?

What's the whip for??

What’s the whip for??



http://traffic.libsyn.com/matinghabitsofthemoderngeek/Ep83_MHMG.mp3

Em and I keep it short and sweet for this post-Valentine’s Day episode where we talk about Deadpool, Destiny, and those damn paranormal romance novels that you’ve seen your girlfriend, sister, even your mom reading all the time!

I own most of the books shown here...

I own most of the books shown here…


I’ve been checking out and guesting on new podcasts, watching indy horror films, and Em’s Scotland-bound!

We share our preferences for which fictional worlds we would like to live in for a week, and tables get flipped over stylists bad business practices, and religious humiliation.

"No, Barnes and Noble, I won't leave this section, but I'll say good day to you, sir.  I said good day!"

“No, Barnes and Noble, I won’t leave this section, but I’ll say good day to you, sir. I said good day!”


Go see Deadpool.
*breathing intensifies*

*breathing intensifies*


Links!

I was on Geektitude!

Wekk Podcast!

Ep.76 – Paying for Sex: The Ins and Outs of the Adult Entertainment Industry

http://www.geek.com/news/technology-gets-sexy-robot-strippers-take-center-stage-1587540/

Tobit Software Robot Strippers


http://traffic.libsyn.com/matinghabitsofthemoderngeek/Ep.76_MHMG.mp3

Prepare for our triumphant return with an exciting, interview-packed, super-sized episode of Mating Habits!

Sean Ryan and I discuss the ins and outs (pun intended) of the adult entertainment industry and how it relates to those of us in the geek community. Some of the things we discuss may be illegal or otherwise not allowed where you live, so take everything we say with a grain of salt – we are not suggesting anyone listening to this show engaging in any illegal acts, nor are we suggesting actually following any of the suggestions we do give. We’re not actual life coaches 🙂

I score the interview of the century with everyone’s favorite purveyor of all things Japanese, Peter Payne of JList! Peter teaches me about the Japanese attitude of “Shō ga nai,” where they’ve given up on trying to change what people want to do in the privacy of their own homes, and simply say, “It cannot be helped.” It’s a wonderful philosophy.

While you’re listening to the interview, please check out JList and all the things (not just the adult stuff) that you can find to satisfy your Japanese cravings:
JList
And check out Peter Payne’s blog about Japanese culture and more at:
JList Blog

Sean and I also gab about our latest video game obsessions with Transformers: Devastation and Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate, how much fun the Supergirl pilot was, and we relive the epic night that was Sean and Vane’s Spooky Birthday Party.

Tables get flipped over Campbell’s Soup potentially ruining Star Wars, and how the only thing you should ever flip are pancakes, scripts, and tables – never teenagers in their desks at school.

http://geekxgirls.com/article.php?ID=1338

Gorgeous photo shoot of Model: Cyndi Dawn
Photographer: Somer Ahonen of Lockbox Studios

Show Links!

Help me #KeepToppingsTraditional

Ep.72 – Sex Education: Knowing is Half the Battle!

TMYK_MHMG


http://traffic.libsyn.com/matinghabitsofthemoderngeek/Ep.72_MHMG.mp3

Join Andrew and I (and his new whiney-voiced character which is basically what it sounds like in my head 24/7) as we tackle another relationship-ish topic: Sex Ed.

Andrew’s Uncle Duties will soon double, and now that Target has blended the genders in their toy departments, he’s basically screwed. His recent job interview has him in a suit and puts him in view of an elderly woman – and she likes what she sees.

I talk at length about the Ashley Maddison hack that has me rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off at hypocrites like Josh Duggar and Sam Rader, and what a Bro-deo that website must have been.

I also have an adorable boyfriend now. He’s the best. It’s no big deal. *squeeeee*

Sex Education in the US is all over the damn place. Andrew and I are from the same decade and the same area, and had vastly different public school sex education experiences. We discuss what subjects worked and didn’t work for us as we share how we learned about the birds and the bees.

Tables get flipped when Andrew wishes folks would just mind their own damn business, and I just want you to stop yelling at me so I can figure out how to help you.

sex_ed

Links!

knowing is half the battle
The+birds+the+bees_481925_4697721

Ep.71 – Enthusiastic Consent: GET HYPE!!

ConsentDefinedMHMG


http://traffic.libsyn.com/matinghabitsofthemoderngeek/Ep71_MHMG.mp3

I infiltrate Alpha Counter Studios and bring Sean Ryan and The Business, LLC back for Episode 71 – the one where we cover the controversial topic of Enthusiastic/Affirmative Consent, and why it’s important.

The Business almost ruins a budding friendship by drunk live tweeting Justice League episodes, and tries to salvage things by inviting his new friend on a beat ’em up side scroller. This is why we can’t have nice things.

Sean gets sunburned at a crowded bdsm-themed bungalow at the beach and meets a beautiful man named Ram Gabriel.

While they were sunning and funning at the beach, I stayed home and had a yard sale – don’t be too jealous. And my copies of Exploding Kittens finally got here!!

We tackle the idea of enthusiastic and affirmative consent: What is it? Why do we need it? What’s with the double standard? What does it say about you, as a person, if the concept of affirmative consent is unacceptable to you? (HINT: If it bothers you too much, you might be part of the problem.)

This is the best visual example of why this is important:

We flip new tables about bad communicators, the impregnable login guards at Steam, and how Trigger Warnings have gotten out of damn hand.

LINKS!
http://www.theloop.ca/this-woman-just-explained-consent-with-the-most-perfect-metaphor/
http://persephonemagazine.com/2012/05/why-do-people-hate-the-concept-of-enthusiastic-consent/
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jan/29/rape-consent-sexual-partner-enthusiasm
http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/03/living/affirmative-consent-school-policy/
http://thinkprogress.org/health/2014/06/25/3453041/affirmative-consent-really-means/

The double standard here is a problem.

The double standard here is a problem.

Help us, Beloved Listeners – you’re our only hope!

princess-leia-kitty-cosplay2

While the podcast is on a short summer break, I’d like to hear any suggestions you guys might have for future dating/relationship show topics. There may end up being some small adjustments to the show layout in the episodes to come, and I’d love to give you, our valued listener, exactly what you want. Any dating questions we can answer for you on the show? Any relationship topics/situations you’d like to have our opinion on? Let us know in the comments or email us at moderngeekcast@gmail.com. Thanks!

Mating Habits is Having a Birthday!

The show turns 3 years old today! Three years ago, I rented a room at a Durham, NC LaQuinta hotel and recorded the first four episodes of Mating Habits of the Modern Geek Podcast. Nowadays, the show has a mobile studio (when we’re not recording over Skype) and with 70 episodes soon to be under our belt we’re still going strong.

Over the years, this show has given me the opportunity to meet and work with so many great people, from listeners who interact through social media, to fellow podcasters who have welcomed me into their support network, to shows that have come after us that we strive to support and participate with. It’s been a great ride, and I can’t wait to see where we’re headed next.

Episode 70 drops Monday, so come help us wish Mating Habits a very Happy Birthday – and thank you.

nerd9