Let it BURN!

buffy fire

I spent the last two days searching my apartment high and low for an important document. Now, I obtained said document in 2007. And here it is 2014, and I’m just getting around to needing to use it.

I can’t explain to you how lost one flimsy document can get in a two-bedroom apartment – especially since I only keep documents in about 5 different places – but I looked for this damn thing for hours. Hours!

During my archaeological-style dig through portfolios, file folders, binders, and old RPG core rule books, I came across all sorts of papers that I had, at one time, thought worthy of preservation. There were menus from fancy restaurants from dates with old boyfriends; receipts for vacation stays at romantic getaways from long ago. I even found documents and reviews from my old job, along with my termination letter.

Why did I keep any of these things? They weren’t mementos worthy of a scrapbook or any other method of display. They weren’t anything I could save for tax reasons. They didn’t have any real sentimental value – especially the termination letter – so why was I squirreling them away for safe keeping?

I made a decision. My apartment is too small for any of this useless minutia. I don’t need it, and holding on to any of it is just weighing me down. So, I burned it.

It was partly for catharsis, and partly because a lot of the documents had banking and Social Security information on them. Though, it did feel good to watch all those past loves, both relationship and career-related, disappear before my eyes. Now on to make better memories, and hopefully keep it all in “The Cloud.”

I finally found the important document I was looking for. It was locked away in my safe – where all important documents should be. Imagine that.

Happy 2-year Birthday, Mating Habits!

MHMGBirthday

We’re 2 Years Old Today!

It was just a week over two years ago when I rented a room at the LaQuinta Inn in Durham and had 4 sets of amazing cohosts come in to record from 9am until 3am that next morning. By the end of the night I was exhausted, hungry, my voice was shot, and I was terrified that I would somehow lose the recorded data before I could figure out how to edit it and release it. On Monday, June 17, 2012 I uploaded Episode 1.

Here it is, two years later and I often edit episodes the day they air. At least I’m better at it now.

Thank you to all of our listeners, especially those who have been here since the beginning – it hasn’t always been easy, but it’s usually been lots of fun.

Mating Habits Classic: Episode 1 – All The Shout-outs!

ipodMHMGclassic


http://traffic.libsyn.com/matinghabitsofthemoderngeek/Ep1_MHMGC.mp3

While we’re on our break, listen to a Classic Episode of Mating Habits. Its one of my personal favorites, and one of our most-liked shows.

For the first ten minutes – before the classic episode plays – I give every shout-out imaginable to my fellow podcasters, and I tell you all about friend-of-the-show Kyle’s Carbon Dating Kickstarter Campaign.

There’s also a very special announcement about upcoming MHMG freebies…you don’t want to miss it.

Here be the LINKS!

Alpha Counter

Nerd Church Podcast

Anywhere But Here Podcast

History of Misunderstanding Podcast

Drunk Geek Blog Podcast

New Nerds on the Block Podcast

Two Loose Screws Podcast

Carbon Dating Kickstarter Campaign

 

Ep.46 – Looking for Group: Put Your Keys in the Bowl!


http://traffic.libsyn.com/matinghabitsofthemoderngeek/Ep46_MHMG.mp3

We’ve got an extra-long episode to keep you guys going during the break. Join Paris, The Business, LLC, and me – along with three interviews with people who are in non-manogamous relationships — as we delve into one of the most requested episode topics in Mating Habits history:

What’s up with all these open relationships and polyamorous folks?

The Business and I have a deep, theological discussion about the origin of the Smurfs, the existence of Smurf ejaculate, and a UNICEF ad that blew my mind. Paris tells us about how she and The Business have stepped outside their comfort zone and joined a kickball team – what the what?

Then, I welcome Vee, Jamie, and Josh to the show, where they open up about their current and past experiences with non-manogamy. Hopefully, what they share will inform, enlighten, and entertain you guys as much as it did me.

We flip tables over Ubisofts dumb response, Anita (I call her Anna the whole time) Sarkeesian’s latest offering, and people hating on the tiny Prius. They see you rollin’. They hatin’, Paris.

Links!

The Ethical Slut

Polyamory Weekly

Anita Sarkeesian’s Women as Background Decoration – Tropes vs Women

Observational Ramblings…I’m in a dating slump.

funny-cat-pics-meh1

I spent the weekend “supervising” a space that my friends at Bottom Shelf Films were using to film an entry for the 48-Hour Film Project — not that they needed any supervision, but I’m gettng off-topic here — and I noticed something that has changed in the way I approach dating.

See, since I can remember, I have either been in a relationship or I have been looking for one.  When single, I used to enter a room full of people and immediately assess which men in the room were available to me and then, of those, which I would choose to pursue.  When in a relationship, I often tried to keep a “Plan B” on the side – someone who I would potentially try to date in the event that my current relationship failed.

However, as of late, I’ve noticed that I enter rooms with potential “Dateables” and immediately say, “Nope.  He’s not here.”

Now, I’ve been dating for quite some time and I can scan a room of 30 men and tell you which three are at the top of my predatory list.  The difference is these days, I don’t pick out the top three.  It’s as if I used to make the best of any potential dating situation, no matter the selection.  These days, if I scan the room of 30 men and there isn’t a guy that really appeals to me, I don’t approach any of them.

I no longer go out with guys from OKCupid to simply practice dating or just to have something to do.  I have stopped trying to kindle old flames with exes or with guy friends with whom, for whatever reason, I was never able to make it work.

I oscillate between being panicked about possibly missing out on opportunities, and satisfied that at least this way, I won’t rush into another bad relationship.  It’s a strange feeling to proclaim that at 36 years of age, at my current “fitness level” and professional status at this stage of my life, I’ve become so selective about who I choose to date that I say, “No,” more often than, “Yes.”

Leaving Writers’ Workshop last night, I passed through Atomic Empire and only gave a cursory glance to the many guys who were there playing games in the store.  The last time I was single, I would have made good eye contact and zeroed in on at least one of the guys there and tried to flirt.  But this time, I just couldn’t be bothered.

And I think I’m okay with this.

I wanted to go home and work on the next MHMG Episode and plan for my upcoming NYC trip anyway.  I’m pretty sure I won’t find the future Mr. Kelley Hightower at a NYC Pride event, but that’s okay, too.  He’s out there, and I’ll know him when I see him.

Ep.45 – The Nerd Church Invasion: Nobody Expects The Nerdish Inquisition!

NerdchurchMP


http://traffic.libsyn.com/matinghabitsofthemoderngeek/Ep45_MHMG.mp3

The Clergy from The Nerd Church Podcast join me to discuss everything under the nerd sun, and share some of their most interesting dating stories.

Michael, Sean, Myles, Ira, Stan, and I talk about all of our current nerdy endeavors and pretty much agree that DS9 was the best Star Trek series (sorry, Ira).

The fetish freaks come out in spring, which gives me a new OkCupid Nightmare story to share about a Macrophile and his inability to “Use the Google.”

The guys share some of their great dating mishaps, Sean and I agree that spiders are the worst, and we flipped so many tables that the show has now been banned from all furniture stores in the Triangle.

So, put on your Sunday clothes and let us take you to church!

P.S. Thanks for the Saga recommendation, guys – I just finished Vol.1 and it’s amazing! Now, on to Sex Criminals!

Links:

The Nerd Church Podcast

The Nerd Church interviews Wonder Woman: Susan Eisenberg – Amazing!

Atomic Empire – a comic and game store with craft beer taps!

Ep.44 – Animazement 2014: The Panel in Review

animazement14

WARNING: This may be a compilation of the absolute worst audio you’ve ever heard on this show. Aside from the echo chamber that is the Animazement panel, my headset mic bumped my glasses for the ENTIRETY of the show, and all I can do is apologize and remind you that this is why podcasts are free 🙂 I promise to get new equipment soon.

We did it again! With the help of Sean Ryan and William Bloodworth, we rocked the stage late into the wee hours of Animazement 2014. There were questions, buttons, a mic-hijacking, and sandwiches mentioned during our hour-long Mating Habits of the Modern Otaku: 2nd Date fan panel.

As always, I forget that I’m technically the host and I leave Sean hanging and checking my phone (just to keep track of the time – swear!), William is dressed as Kiruto and gets engaged to a small plushie Bulbasaur, and a rave happens elsewhere in the convention center that is so thunderous, the stage shakes the whole time. Oh, and we answered questions about dating.

Also in this show, I come up with some half-baked schemes for making money (patent pending) and Sean suggests we free all the caged autistic children from their neighborhood internment camps, only to make them available for cock-fighting style Yugio Tournaments – what a jerk!

At time marker 1:47, we come back after the panel audio to have a serious discussion regarding the recent tragic shootings and deaths in California. The tables are less flipped, and more firmly pounded as I discuss why the hashtag #YesAllWomen is a great thing, if fully understood, and how misogyny is hurting everyone…most of all men who aren’t misogynists.

Links!
Why It’s So Hard for Men to See Misogyny
Your Princess Is in Another Castle: Misogyny, Entitlement, and Nerds

Ep.43 – Cosplay and Web Comics: Making Connections Through Geek Art

*Audio should be fixed. If you downloaded the episode to a device before 7:30 pm EST, you may have to download it again. Sorry for the inconvenience.*

Cover Model Cassandra Cosplaying as a Phoenix!

Cover Model Cassandra Cosplaying as a Phoenix!

http://carbon-comic.com/

Carbon Dating by @CarbonKyle

I survived the Warrior Dash in time to bring you Episode 43 – Cosplay and Web Comics: Making Connections Through Geek Art. In this *Mega-Packed Episode* William and Cassandra join me to discuss cosplay, cosplayers, and making connections through geeky artistic endeavors.

BONUS CONTENT: I interview Kyle Saunders, the webcomic artist/creator of Carbon Dating, A Comic About Science, Pseudoscience, & Geeky Relationships. If you’re not reading this comic, get into it!

Cassandra talks about being a D20 Magazine Covergirl, and what it’s like to be a single cosplayer in the convention world. William tells of the trials and tribulations of a new cosplayer; and I panic over not being ready for our Animazement panel (Mating Habits of the Modern Otaku: 2nd Date, Friday Night/Saturday Morning at MIDNIGHT!).

We flip tables over and why I’m getting all the wrong kind of attention lately, William spouts knowledge about book-to-movie gripes, and Cassandra continues the MHMG tradition of telling us all about her worst OKC dating experience.

NB – No one wants to see your magic tricks. Don’t be a dick, and don’t do magic.

Links!
http://carbon-comic.com/
https://www.facebook.com/CarbonDating
https://www.facebook.com/D20GirlsProject
http://www.emaaknights.com/

Ep.42 – The Bro-isode: Chicks, Am I Right?

Hey dudes, quit storming the castle and come listen to this podcast.

Hey dudes, quit storming the castle and come listen to this podcast.

Welcome new co-host, Roger, to the MHMG Team where in this episode, I let the men run rampant with their thoughts and opinions (an answer to Ep.20 – Girls, Girls, Girls: The Geek Girl Experience). We tackle some of the more common problems that male geeks can face when interacting with people they’d like to give face kisses to.

We also waste a bunch of time discussing things like the future Justice League movie, Tokyo Jungle, and how wrong Roger is about Godzilla.

Individual table flips happen in five-minute bursts and an absent co-host will learn a valuable lesson about canceling on us and not showing up to the show 🙂

This is pretty much the uniform of anyone who co-hosts this show...I have requirements.

This is pretty much the uniform of anyone who co-hosts this show…I have requirements.

Ep.41 – The Grand Forum: Ask Us Anything!

Teachers

In this Super-Sized Episode, Sean returns to help me answer all the questions you sent in, fully, honestly, and to the best of our ability (except for one that was just too much work).

I watched over 72 hours of CNN coverage and shitty Netflix for no reason, #herbsaroundtheedges lives to see another day, despite a veggie-disaster, and Sean got an extra job and a wife. No big deal.

Tables are flipped in unison over the steaming pile of dog shit that was the How I Met Your Mother Series Finale. What a damn disaster.