Ep.40 – Relationship Wreckers: Listen All of Y’all, It’s a Sabotage!

"I'm jealous...my earrings would be so much happier with that dress" *snif*

“I’m jealous…my earrings would be so much happier with that dress” *snif*

Paris and The Business are back! We wade through some of the things that might ruin your relationship, or things that might be holding you back from finding a relationship of your own.

We cover wide-ranging topics from the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle trailer to Puzzles and Dragons; and Attack on Titan to dishwasher meth. Paris spells out her plans to become a YouTube sensation (which gets edited out for patent reasons) and defends her obvious and blatant racism.

Tables are flipped over Facebook quizzes, Weather-wrongs, and people trying too hard to be different.

Also, Pro-Tip: Bud Lite Straw-Ber-Rita…NOT EVEN ONCE!

Idea Channel
Fuck Me In The Ass Because I Love Jesus

Ep.39 – Sexual Dimorphism: 1.) Figure Each Other Out 2.) Celebrate Our Differences!

I bet an equal playing field never hurt the chemistry between these two!

I bet an equal playing field never hurt the chemistry between these two!

This week, Michael and I explore sexual dimorphism and how our differences make us more attractive to one another. In doing so, I work out some of my own “Alpha Male” shit from before; we talk about the benefits and downfalls of “peer relationships” versus traditional marriages, and why the sex you’re having may not be as good or as often as you’d like.

Michael christens my new indy rock band. “Herbs Around the Edges!”

My new friend, “Julie,” might be sending me OKC messages from the lost Malaysia Airlines Flight 370! Or it’s just spam. Also, I lose a fight with a bookshelf.

We give you all the details on the now-famous Duke University Porn Star, and flip tables over the co-opting of certain words by certain minority groups, and parties with no snacks – both of these are equally important topics.

Show Links:

Duke Does Porn

Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?

Ep.37 – Single’s Survival Guide: Staying Afloat in the Sea of Sadness


Alpha Counter’s Sean Ryan braves “Snowmaggedon” to join me for this episode where we record against the odds and before the power goes out. We’re national heroes, really.

We discuss surviving being single – especially during this romantic time of year, reveal our ignorance about Americanized Mexican Holidays, and discuss some of the overlooked benefits to being single.

There’s a new segment called, “You Ain’t Gonna Believe This Shit – the Kelley Hightower Story,” where I discuss the weird shit that happens to me because of reasons – often it’ll be about dating.

We discuss the dangers of going too far with virtual relationships, I reveal my embarrassing affair with an AppleCareBot, and when the tables get flipped this episode, they’re all sports-related.

So, pull your drowning pony out of that sinking Swamp of Sadness, and ride off into this Neverending Story of dating!*

*See what I did there? You’re welcome.

Dinosaur Comics! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1350

Dinosaur Comics! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1350

I like sports AND Garfunkel and Oates!

Ep.36 – Effective Communication: No Battle Plan Survives Contact with the Enemy


William and I get detailed when we explain the difference between showing interest and being over-eager after that first date. Ignore all the rules and bad messages from movies like Swingers and learn how to make sure that special someone knows that you’re interested, without seeming desperate.

I give big props to Wicked Radio Network for their support and affiliation, and we get a timeslot on Radio FUBAR!

There’s talk of the final episode of Sherlock, William shares his adventures at Ichibancon 2014, and I reveal another terrible OKC message in this episode’s installment of Dating Horror Story: Online.

Tables are flipped over the reaction to NC’s new Amazon.com sales tax, and I rage over the misunderstood Alpha Male and why you might be one and just not know it.

We’ll be back on Feb 17th with new episodes chock full of helpful advice, dating blunders, and geek rage over things that don’t actually matter.


Wicked Radio Network
Man Poses as Woman on Online Dating Site, Barey Lasts Two Hours
How to Hack OKCupid
Amanda On The Edge: The Definition of an Alpha Male

Ep.35 – Relationship Konami Code: Tackle Those Hard Levels with Ease!

Check out the artist at http://www.deviantart.com/?q=decibel+design

Check out the artist at http://www.deviantart.com/?q=decibel+design

Kicking off 2014, Paris and The Business, LLC, help me dig our way out from under the Polar Vortex to wish you all a very Happy New Year!

Sharing between us 2 colds, not enough sleep, and some University-Issued Sudafed, we spend the first hour and a half of this epic podcast discussing Beyond: Two Souls, eating the Peacekeeper Guards in Catching Fire, saying a tearful goodbye to Doctor Who and a squee-filled hello to Sherlock, Season 3.

I issue a heart-felt apology to the Brony Community, and finally understand why friendship really is magic, and Kevin gives his own online dating tips for all the geeky ladies out there, and informs me that “Cat hair is lonely-people glitter. I may have cried a little.

At time marker 1:30, we finally get into the main topic about tackling the big issues in a relationship. When’s the right time to discuss moving in together, marriage, introducing kinks, religion – you know, the awkward conversations where timing is half the battle.

Tables are flipped in regards to the weather, the people who get crazy about said weather, and the people who get crazy about the people who get crazy about it. Also, why you can’t use tornados for ratings.

Links Below!

Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans of My Little Pony

Ep.34 Awkward and Shy, or Just Not That Into You? Discover the Difference!

Legolas: "Hey, Tauriel, want to be my girlfriend?" Tauriel: "No Thanks." Legolas: *She's just shy.*

Legolas: “Hey, Tauriel, want to be my girlfriend?”
Tauriel: “No Thanks.”
Legolas: *She’s just shy.*

This belated Holiday Week Edition of Mating Habits of the Modern Geek, join me and William as we tackle that age-old problem of determining whether that special crush is just too shy to talk to you…or they’re just not into you.

We catch up over Dragon’s Crown, Freedom Cry, and William reveals his cosplay plans for 2014!

I spin another yarn about a Dating Horror Story: Online, and William voices his complaints over chatty chicks who never want to do anything else.

It only takes us 52 minutes to get to the actual topic, where we admit that we’re all guilty of this. It’s always an awkward time when geeks who are awkward also like other awkward geeks. It’s easy to misinterpret the signs of uninterested for shyness.

So, get ready to be direct and bold, and be ready to accept the soft “No.”
William flips a table over folks who can’t deal with movie adaptations (congrats, you read a book), and I flip a table or two over people trying to fix me up with inappropriate matches for their own convenience.


NB:  The book title I butchered is actually: Something More Than Night by Ian Tregillis. http://iantregillis.com/ I HIGHLY recommend it.

Ep.33 – Kelley’s Relationship Triangle: “The Best Two Outta Three!”

zombie date

In this episode, Michael joins me to discuss my new breakthrough solution for figuring out if someone is right for you. It’s a theory I wrote on the back of an envelope…at a friend’s house…and then drew a sad face on it…but it’s a good tool for anyone to use all the same.


Michael shares some of his worst dating experiences, and I bring up the issue I have with men flirting with me by arguing against the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse. Apparently guys out there can’t take a joke, or they’re certain they have evidence that it couldn’t happen – maybe a litte bit too certain.

We flip some tables over bullies and call-out culture, and how people often don’t get that not only are they not helping things, but sometimes they make it worse.

And the vegetarian food we couldn’t think of was tempeh!

Links From This Episode:

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Project Management Iron Triangle

Call Out Culture Will Not Make the World a Just Place

“What’s a Hexagram, Precious?”

Ep.32 – The Wingman: “Have You Met My Friend Ted?”

Check out more Legen-  wait for it - dary art from Habibson at http://habibson.deviantart.com/

Check out more Legen- wait for it – dary art from Habibson at http://habibson.deviantart.com/

Gobble Gobble, Y’all! It’s Thanksgiving!

Sean shares his famous cranberry sauce recipe that he may or may not have come from Adam Corolla, and it’s raining monkeys when I play Assassin’s Creed IV.

I give you the first installment of Dating Horror Story: Online Dating where I share some scary online dating stories that have been happening to me recently, and we discuss Wingmen, and why you may want one to help you meet new people – or you may want to share your confidence and BECOME THE BEST WINGMAN EVER.

Sometimes, there’s no better safety net than a “Conversation Buddy” to help talk you up to potential love interests.

We flip the kids’ table at your family’s Thanksgiving dinner over retail establishments staying open over the holidays; Sean’s multiple doppelgangers getting him into sticky situations, and the best $1 Million-dollar idea that Sean has ever had.

Ep. 26 – Stats and Standards: “Y’all Got Issues”


Episode 26 – Stats and Standards: “Y’all Got Issues”

We’re 1 Year Old! Mating Habits presents our last episode of Cycle 5 where William and I break it down in plain English: There’s a reason why your online dating messages may not be getting a response, or why you may not be getting unsolicited messages from women. I finally announce my new Single Status, William and I share our latest “encounters” on OkCupid, and we dissect an interesting experiment performed by Jon Millward where it shows how women receive so many more unsolicited messages than men, she may be too fed up with “Hey, sexy,” and “Wanna fuck?” messages by the time she gets to yours – I know I am.

We also discuss how taking care of yourself and working on your outside appearance can help bolster the awesomeness you have inside. #fitness is the hottest hashtag of the summer, and taking care of your health and/or your appearance can help you build confidence, and help rejection hurt less. You don’t have to start working out everyday or buy a whole new wardrobe, but some simple changes can help you make the best impression possible.

Tables are flipped over the Reaction TO the Reaction TO the announcement of the 12th Doctor – folks overreact to the under reaction, and we react to that.

It’s been an amazing year, and we’re not stopping anytime soon. Thank you for listening, for all of your support, and looking forward to many, many more years here at Mating Habits of the Modern Geek!


Cupid on Trial: A 4-month Online Dating Experiment Using 10 Fictional Singletons